Tonight’s B2 Carmel Hockey by the Highways, Byways, and Roundabouts is brought to you in part by covid arrows and missed weeks.  The last three weeks have plagued this league as if we are still in a pandemic, and weapons grade stupidity reigns supreme over nearly everybody.  I realize that yours truly is no different, and we now have to catch up three weeks, documenting America’s team, The Ron Burgundies.  The playoffs start next week, so consider this a playoff preview.  

Two weeks ago, Americans faced off against the first place grey apes.  Team America was decimated by the plague.  We only had a handful of regular players not injured or ill with Covid, so Ron found some mercenaries, and they played well for us.  Despite the help, the Great Gray Apes destroyed Americans 11-4, and it was not pretty.  Well, Haslett was pretty scoring two goals and notching 6 assists in her clinical destruction.  I did run into her by accident once, and these collisions usually wreck me.  This one landed me in the penalty box.  It wasn’t a penalty though, and the refs gave me a second penalty in the first period for lifting a stick to save a goal.  We do have great refs, but it had me nervous for the rest of the game.  Three penalties, and you get das boot.  I wasn’t trying to enter that realm after a really good hit on Silverback’s best player.

Last week, The Ron Burgundies responded against the California Blue Highway Patrol.  It was again a lopsided win, with Americans winning double digits to single digits.  Mercenaries have been putting in extra time in these times of need.  We should take a minute to recognize their hard work, sometimes playing 2 or 3 games a week.  No fighting allowed, but there was an incident in the parking lot after the games.  Suspensions were handed out, and justice seems to be arcing towards a reasonable target.  This means several players served suspensions today, and they will continue next week - the first playoff games.  Luckily, we have multiple law enforcement agencies represented in the league, not to mention other professional services, so we are reasonably well protected.  Please, if you need help, reach out to us.  Seriously, you should try to get into the league simply to network.

This brings us to the featured game of the week against the clockwork Orange, the Average Joe’s.  Fitz turned out to be a nice mercenary addition for the Psychotic Orange, and our team was sure that he scored all their goals.  He “only” had three, according to the referees, but I spent a fair amount of time chirping Dom, so they probably weren’t paying attention.

This game was very different than our last two, as it was tightly contested throughout the hookfest of a game.  Harrison scored for America, but Fitz scored twice to make it 2-1 after one period. 

Orange pushed it to 5-2 after two, despite Decker tying it on a sweet goal from Russ and me.  

The Burgundies stormed back, eventually going up 6-5 in the third period.  I did score that 6th goal on a sweet pass from Decker to my backhand, which is usually weaker than $10 lawn signs.  For some reason, the puck stuck to my stick for an easy deek goal.  

The average Joe’s weren’t having it, and they scored a couple more tic tac toe goals.  Joe was really on his game tonight, and they won 7-6 because of efficient distribution of pucks.

The rematch is set for next week in the first round of the playoffs.