Farell Cat Warning

Tonight’s B2 Carmel Hockey by the Highways, Byways, and Roundabouts is brought to you in part by the epitome of failure.  Life is not kind or fair, and America’s team, the Golden Showers, learned that tonight in our so-called featured game of the week against the Farell Cats of greenness.  The cats were looking to avenge getting doubled up in our September matchup, 8-4.  

The game was almost over before it started, as green army guys filled the bench with probably 14 skaters in a West coast 10:30 start time on the shortest of regulation rinks in Bestfield.  I’m guessing that the cats cheated, rostering some alternate players, but Morris was there. They were too fast, too intense, and by the end of two periods, it was 7-0.  I’m thinking it was because of 100 players on the bench.

I don’t even know who scored, but the Cats were prowling and scratching tf out of America.  Your hometown heroes were mostly happy to be playing hockey, but it’s rough getting worked like we did tonight.

We flipped Kang and I for the third period, and we won the period 3-2.  Americans tallied imaginary Light The Lamp tournament points for winning the period.  Well, we didn’t exactly flip, as I should have scored at least five goals today playing with Talus and Peters for two periods.  Any normal player would have scored 37 goals playing with these two for two periods, but alas, I manage to flub on a spectacular golden scale.  Our whole team missed many opportunities, but I probably missed the most.  I feel shame.  Much shame.  Some credit is due to Thornley, but minimal credit.

Somebody has to win the honors of the Golden Jacket every week, and I’m proud to represent it this week for a lucky shot for our first goal.  After moving back to defense, I recklessly danced around someone in the offensive zone to set up a shot on a puck that was sideways and ended up hitting the crossbar and going into the goal.  1-7 thusly turned into 3-7, but we lost 3-9.  I’m going to wear this Golden Jacket with pride daily, despite the losing result.  Expect lots of pictures if you know me.  It’s best to be lucky, and being in this league is the luckiest.  

Well, America got wrecked today, and we are fortunate to take our lumps.  We will live to fight another day.