Slow Lymph Hockey

Tonight’s B2 Carmel Hockey by the Highways, Byways, and Roundabouts is brought to you in part by lymph.  Our esteemed and competitive league has some speed and youth, but we are characterized by a slow, oozing purulence that varies in output depending on pressure and who shows up.  America’s glorious Golden Showers were missing some key components tonight with a bench of 9, lacking the insolubles.  Despite deep disfavorable draft depth deficiencies, America faced off against the first place Ron Burgundy’s in tonight’s featured game of the week from Rink 2 of the World Infamous Carmel Iceskadium.  Without several of our top picks, Americans were in for a known struggle.

Shipley and Posipanka confirmed that America’s team was in for trouble when they put Ron’s Maroon Goon squad up 2-0 before even eleven minutes rolled.  Pos had a particularly nice snipe.  Then, Spence got caught for cheating, as expected, and went to the penalty box to feel much shame at 2:07.  Kane immediately won the Faceoff to the right of Jordan, and the puck went right to my right skate on the right wing.  Almost by accident, I bounced it to my stick and used the old school spinorama weak-shot to slide the puck along the ice in the right corner of the net.  I surprised myself too, and I think that Jordan wasn’t ready for shots on the net.  Spence thanked me for freeing him so quickly from detainment.  Then, Shipley got called for a trip with 44 seconds remaining in the first period because he was close to me when I fell over for no good reason.  Shortly after this, Williams dug out the puck from the corner straight to Kane, who banked a pass off my stick into the goal to tie the game with 30 seconds left in the first period.  We might have felt like the bad news bears for a second thinking we were going to take down Giants with our practice squad.

The second period was owned by the (a)Ron Burgundy’s.  Tomaski had a natural hat trick to begin the period, and Goodale and Ammar added goals to make it 7-2 at the end of 2 periods.  

Kang scored twice to begin the third, with the first one being a thing of actual hockey beauty.  Commish Russ had been moved back to defense, and he moved the puck up to Samurai Benson along the right boards.  Benson was playing possessed all night, and most attribute it to his new ninja headband.  Benson turned the pass from Russ into a 2 on one break, and the deliberately delectable dish to Kang started America’s comeback attempt.  Though Americans made it 4-7, and though Kang scored our 5th goal to win the Gold Jacket honors for the game, Spence finally scored, and Ammar added another dunk to give us the final score of 9-5.

Interesting things almost happened when our goalie got hit in the face with a stick.  There was no penalty, but somehow a high stick contacting the puck was called.  Tensions in the world are high, but Carmel Thursday hockey is cool as lymph.  I did tell the commissioner that the league needs more fights, and we all agreed in the locker room after the game that Harter would have started a fight.  Maybe next time.  Stay tuned as always.